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Wednesday, 12 October 2016

The Twits

Last Friday we had the pleasure of attending a fantastically disgusting dinner at The Vaults near Waterloo, hosted by the gruesome twosome Mr and Mrs Twit

If you an unfamiliar with the Roald Dahl characters, I would recommend reading up on them. They really are quite vile, so as soon as I heard about this experiential dinner/theatre mash-up AND that Bompas & Parr were to be involved, I was sold. The Bompas & Parr 'History of Food' is still one of my favourite experiential things that we have done in London.

So we arrived at The Vaults, and it's fair to say that expectations were pretty high.

On check-in we were handed a small plastic bag with a (fake) worm inside. This was to be redeemed in the bar for a cocktail of your choice - although, as it turned out NOT the prosecco cocktail complete with tube of 'Hugtite Glue' in cherry or peach flavour to be squeezed into the bubbly. Either way we were happy with our Aperol based drink (apparently used by Mrs Twit to clean her glass eye - yum).

Next we were shown into the 'ghastly garden' and invited to forage for our canapes amongst compost, in bird feeders, inside potting sheds and plucked off nails hammered into large branches.
We were also offered such delights as 'burnt' sausages (covered in poppy seeds) and chicken's hearts in bloody Mary sauce by the vintage circus styled monkey servants. 
I did give it all a go, but slightly regretted the chicken heart as soon as it passed my lips. Tasted a bit like how it smells in the meat section of supermarkets.. *gag* Oh well, it's all part of the experience. 

Having amused our bouches for long enough we were shown through to the dining room to begin the feasting in earnest. It started earlier than expected for M, who was forced to down a glass of wine by Mr Twit and then fed coleslaw sprinkled with dried mealworms and crickets by Mrs Twit. He did say that the unexpected alcohol kick did help him to get in the mood for the whole event though..

The main course emerged dramatically in a cloud of smoke aboard an impressive trolley, and the monkey staff busily set about serving up the piece de resistance: bird pie complete with foot sticking out of the top. Actually very tasty! Especially when paired with the bubbling green slime (parsley sauce) from a mini cauldron on the table.

From then on the scene turned more sinister as the servants confided in us that they were not real monkeys, but humans kidnapped and made to perform to satisfy the terrible and bloody-thirsty whims of the Twits. And worse still, we were next! Oh no!!

So through various deceptive tactics involving presents, pheromones and giant puppets the Twits ultimately saw their demise at the beak of the enormous and slightly malevolent-looking Roly Poly Bird.

Once the dinner and performance were over, we were escorted to another bar where we could once again enjoy some cocktails. My one tasted of bubble gum and came complete with tiny helium balloons - just how I like it!

Some could argue that the whole thing was a bit pricey, but considering that you do get both an experiential show and an interesting dinner I thought it was well worth it. Read more about the event here.

Only problem is that now I'll be very disappointed when future cocktails arrive without a mini balloon garnish.

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